I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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