Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
