Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I believe in your delicious
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
