fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
