And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize