You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You can't special order awesome
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm bleeding and have questions
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
