What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
