Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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