so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
