Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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