Just fell off a train. Bad.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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