can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
