so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
