if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
