the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
