well I can't set my house on fire every night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My ass is underappreciated
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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