well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
