What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
