I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
