i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
