You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
