Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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