My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
