I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
