Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
