We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
