I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
