Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
