i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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