The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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