Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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