ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
