Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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