Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
