We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
