STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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