he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My orgasm happened in two different decades
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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