After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
