just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
