I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
