You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
