I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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