Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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