Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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