ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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