Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
