He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
