dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dignity is for republicans.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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