We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
