windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
