I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
