What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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