at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
