He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
