Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
