I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize