Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize