In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
