Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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