yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
