You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
