i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
