At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
